SUNDAY PLAN

It’s been raining continuously since I reached Brisbane. However most of the time, it’s just drizzling.

Woke up quite early this morning, after having a simple breakfast, I took a bath. Sat back in front of my laptop, I did things that I usually do. Then, I streamed for some anime that I hadn’t watched since Chinese New Year. Gosh! I missed so many episodes…!

At about 12pm, I went to the city to have lunch with my friend. We walked around the city to buy some stuff. Searched for my backpack in few shops and finally, got one from Crumpler (free stickers and cute little matches) Aww~~~!

Bought my facial wash, some groceries and at last, had a movie called “Percy Jackson & Olympians the Lightning Thief”... For me, it’s quite a nice movie to watch.

Headed home at around 6pm, went up for dinner with my friend, chitchat for awhile and got back to my room.

...Wondering when will he return my hard disc. Don’t really want to call him and ask for it, so I can only wait for him to give it back to me, I guess...

SMS him just now, he was having dinner + “Lao Sang”. Envy envy envy!!! Really hope that I’m now with my family for the reunion dinner, too. ~T.T~

BACK IN AUS

Finally, I’m back to Brisbane again… A place where other than Tawau, my second choice to stay. Today is kinda windy and dim outside. It was drizzling when I was on my way home this morning. He was the one to fetch me from Gold Coast Airport, felt so pleased that he was willing to drive all the way to the airport to fetch me. However, he didn’t seem to be very happy. I didn’t see any smile on his face, so did I, maybe we were both tired. I was having a really hard time during the flight; I can’t really sleep well throughout the whole journey. That was really torturing.

He asked me a question that was so out of my expectation just now on the way home. He didn’t seem to be happy about what I answered. After that, we never talk to each other. During the flight, I was still thinking to have a good conversation with him all way through. However, my mind changed when I saw him at the first sight, he really seemed to be very unhappy. I wonder why? Not enough sleep? I hope that didn’t have something to do with me.

Reached home after about an hour ride. He helped me to move my luggage upstairs to my apartment, borrowed my hard drive, and left. Still unable to say anything (was actually planning to treat him for breakfast but he bought SUBWAY before he fetched me), so I had to cancel my plan and thanked him for his help. Went into my room, checked on my stuff, everything is still the same. The only thing that I’m curious about is…no dust! No dust on the table or any other corners of my room. Weird! Second thing, I checked on the toilet, my shampoo and shower gel are still there, but my facial wash is gone!!! Argh~!!! My facial wash was the most expensive thing in the toilet man!!! Sigh~!!!

Went back to my room, unpacked some of my stuff, it was time for me to sleep. Really tired…

Called HIM when I woke up, it is just so hard to call oversea as both sides will get delayed in the conversation. Talked with HIM for awhile in the phone, he promised to find place to online next time because he is now working at somewhere outskirts without any internet connections available. I’m homesick again~! Really miss the happy moments in hometown… and thanks to YOU, for accompanying me all way through…

* he = L , HIM = B

HIM

Met someone that happened to have met a year ago just the day before Chinese New Year. We had lunch together. He is still the same, humourous yet a little bit of glib manner. However, this time, I realize a sense of likeable in him. During Chinese New Year, we hung out for a drink sometimes. We did have a lot of fun together drinking, dancing, clubbing, etc. Before he went back to where he worked, he accompanied me till daybreak. So sweet of him!!! At the moment he left, I felt that I had a slight attraction on him… Gosh!!! How can this happen?

Went to KK for recheck on my surgical wound, everything is fine. He fetched me from the airport that day, following him for his site inspection, had our lunch at a shopping mall, walked around to shop for my shoes (still I can’t get one) before my time of appointment. After the recheck, we went for a movie (Little Big Soldier)… For me, it’s a comedy, kinda funny! Then he fetched his auntie to the hospital for a visit, bought the drive-through McDonald for my dinner, and fetched me to the airport. A simple but happy day that I’ll never forget!!!

PS: Thanks so much for your help!!! ^^

* he = B

I HAD TRIED

Feeling so calm recently. I don’t really want to think too much about the past anymore. What is more important now, is future. Looking forward positively. Used to be so dependent on him, now I guess it’s time for me to be tougher and on one’s own. Friends are trying to make sure I’m alright, asking me reasons of the breaking up, my answer is always “I guess I’m just too numb about being in a relation…”

Actually tried very hard to make this relation worked, but I failed, at least he was the one to give up first, so I got no choice but to accept the fact that things just didn’t work out for us. Of course, this is not what I expected. I thought that he would be more unfaltering, though he was the one to ask for a break! Such a ludicrous!

All of a sudden, I got a message from my ex, asking me where am I. Haaa… what a coincidence! We didn’t contact with each other for quite sometimes. And he appeared just right after I broke up! LOL… Asking me to hang out with him when he is back. I said: WHY NOT? ^^

Went for a drink with my friend, asking the same question again, and I gave the same answer as I did for everyone. Lazy to explain much, I changed the topic as fast as possible. Really wanted to thank him for accompanying me to supper.

PS: Guys, I’m fine… Don’t worry about me! OK? Anyway, thank you!

* he = TF

习惯了的依赖

梁文音 - 爱一直存在

作词 : 马嵩惟 陈孟奇 作曲: 陈孟奇

那天我扬起帆 想看看未知的海

心里很多话想说说不出来

虽然我脸上看不出来

天空一样蔚蓝 却换了多少云彩

那时的你让我幸福百分百 是否为我等待

我知道 我的爱 一直都会存在

没有你泪停不下来

你知道我依赖多不想say goodbye

我痛说不出来

我知道 我的爱 一直都会存在

没有你快乐都停摆

某一天我期待和你笑的灿烂

回头看爱 都在

站在你的门外 我决心不再徘徊

心里很多话想说说不出来

但我想你一定都明白

时间过的好快 想念却不曾更改

现在的你是否幸福百分百 我应该怎麽猜

我知道 我的爱 一直都会存在

没有你泪停不下来

你知道我依赖多不想say goodbye

我痛说不出来

我知道 我的爱 一直都会存在

没有你快乐都停摆

某一天我期待和你笑的灿烂

回头看爱 都在

我知道 我的爱 一直都会存在

没有你泪停不下来

你知道我依赖多不想say goodbye

我痛说不出来

我知道 我的爱 一直都会存在

没有你快乐都停摆

某一天我期待和你笑的灿烂

回头看爱 都在

爱一直 存在

这几天都一直在听同一首歌, 重复了不懂有多少次...

分手的那天本来是没有哭的, 却在听了这首歌后, 眼泪就不受控制的流了下来...

一直在努力的告诉自己, 早就知道了会有这样的一天, 应该是做了心理准备的...

却因为这首歌的歌词和我现在的心情太相像了, 原来我一直在找借口骗自己不去想...

终究还是骗了所有的人说我很好, 却骗不了自己的心, 滴着血, 很痛很痛...

我相信我会更好的, 因为勉强在一起又不适合的爱情, 换来的只会是更多的痛苦...

NEW YEAR

We started on 8 Aug 2009, ended on 2 Feb 2010. I used to cry everytime we argued, but this time, even though it really hurts, I didn't cry. By the time I recieved his message, I knew that something was wrong between us. We were just so different in everything. Therefore, it's not going to work out even though we continue on. So, he chose to stop and I had already accepted this fact way before I recieved his message.

Told my mom about this, she said she had already known the ending the day I started this relation. WOW, what a surprising answer! I went out with my friends for a drink after that, all of them knew that I'll be fine. Ya, I think I'll be fine, too. They really tried hard to make me laugh last night, still I was moody but I didn't cry, I felt a little bit curious bout this, WHY?

A new life for me in 2010? Ya, I guess so. So to him...

HE vs HE

It’s been a while since my last post. I’d been so busy recently flying Tawau – Kota Kinabalu to get the keloid scar on my right ear cured!!! The operation was done without a hitch. After the operation of removing the keloid scar, I had to undergo a 5-time electron radiation treatment every other day.

Today was the last day of the treatment, I was so relieved after the treatment. Being so sick of flying to Kota Kinabalu day about, but I really feel thankful to both the doctors who had participated in this whole treatment and had given me a lot of advices and supports. Both of them are so funny and friendly. I can never forget them.

I called him just now while waiting for my flight back to Tawau. The passionate in love between us seemed to be fading away, at least I am the one feeling that way because he does not seem to be excited at all on getting my call. Does this mean that our relation is turning into a stable state, or does this mean that he no longer loves me? Am I taking unnecessary pains to study an insignificant? I think I can only get the answer when I am back in Brisbane face to face with him.

Another “him”, out of nowhere, starts to “interact” with me quite often… I wonder why… I lost my faith in believing what he said, because he disappointed me too many times. Not to say that he lied, but it was too hard for me to believe him on being so busy till can’t even reply a single message of mine. Headache… Confusing… Blur…

JEANETTE!!! STOP THINKING ABOUT THE VEXATION… THINK ABOUT CHINESE NEW YEAR FOR NOW!!!

PS: GAMBLE GAMBLE… LAMI LAMI… ANYONE? LOLx

* he = L , he = SN